A Little Treat, Just Because

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

At least I remembered to curtsy.

Last night, I dreamed I was at the mall with Sprout. As we approached an elevator, I noticed two other sweatpant-clad stroller-pushing Mothers of Toddlers waiting there along with a tall, impecably-dressed blonde who wore a sparkling-yet-tasteful tiara. She impatiently re-pressed the already lit UP button and didn't look at any of us. Because I have a knack for spotting celebs, I instantly recognized her as Lady Di (yes, I mean Diana Princess of Wales) and said hello. I even curtsied for the first time ever. She warmed up to us quickly and was the gracious, queenly woman everyone imagines her to be.

Moments later, the four of us were giggling and shopping in Nordstrom together. I thought, this is just the girls-only, child-free outing I've needed. (Come to think of it, I'm not sure where our kids and strollers ended up.) Di was trying on some dangly ear bobs, so I thought I would, too. We shared the same mirror--which I ended up regretting, deeply.

I was wearing a sleevless shirt (that's how I know it was only a dream), and when I raised my hand to my ear, we both saw It. I had neglected to shave my armpits. And it wasn't like I had gone a few days or weeks without shaving. It was as if I had never shaved my pits in my entire life and had 36 years of dark, dense growth to show for it.

I'm not sure what would've happened after that. My little subconscious siren sounded, "It's only a dream! You can wake up!" So, I did. And when I took my shower, I shaved my armpits.


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